In our search to better understand what makes a Needy Man we managed to find one that was willing to answer a few questions. Tom has had his heart ripped to bits by more than one woman and feels like he is in a place where he can share his experiences in the hope other men can learn from them!
Tom… thanks for agreeing to talk to us, what do you think defines you as a Needy Man?
Well firstly the fact that when I am with a girlfriend I feel totally overwhelmed and sure that not only is she going to wake up and realize that I am not the man for her, but also that I will never be able to get another girlfriend as great as her.. I know a lot of this is in my mind but can’t seem to stop feeling insecure and as much as I know it’s the wrong thing to do seeking constant reassurance from her.
Have you tried to change your behavior and if so how did that alter your relationship?
There have been periods of time where I have managed to cover up my feelings and act like the traditional alpha male.. however everytime I am in a relationship there comes a time where I can no longer act this way and I start to fall back into the behaviors that even I know are self destructive.
Tell us about your worst experience as a Needy Man?
Probably rock bottom for me would have been the times when I have broken down and pleaded with my girlfriend to reassure me that she cared for me and didn’t want to dump me.. in hindsight this is not only very embarrassing but additionally probably the reason why in each case the girl has ended the relationship with me.
Are you doing anything to overcome this behavior?
I am trying to recognize what factors trigger these responses, getting professional help and yes I am confident I can turn my life and Needy behaviors around.
Do you have any advice for woman that are dating a Needy Man?
I certainly do… it seems ok for Woman to be needy at times, maybe they could be more understanding when it comes to Males -although tradition defines that we are all tough and unemotional the reality is very different to this.
Any last words of advice to the thousands of Needy Men out there?
Hide your feelings, even when you feel the time is right to share your insecurities with the lady in your life don’t do it! Get professional help.
Tom – thanks for sharing with us on behalf of needymen.com!