Maintaining a happy marriage takes work, and that’s normal, no matter what all those “happy ever after” stories say.
If your needy husband is draining you of energy and focus, you may start to feel like no matter how much you put into the relationship, it will never be enough for him.
Often, we seek out friends to get feedback on relationship snags, but many wives will be afraid of seeming to be impossible to please by calling their husbands needy.
After all, who doesn’t like an attentive partner?
This is however, not what women living with needy companions experience, so lets go over some traits of the overbearing partner.
Signs of a needy husband
He needs constant reassurance of your love. If you spend time with friends or relatives, he guilt’s you with unfair accusations that you favor them over him.
He seems to want attention at the worse times for you.
You notice situations like him interrupting your phone call to ask a question he could have asked afterwards, or pressuring you for couple’s activities when you’re busy.
The needy husband has trouble sharing his romantic partner with anyone or anything.
You may find that when you are away from your husband your cellphone has started to irritate you. At the beep of a call or text message, you know it might be your him interrupting your day with a pointless question, or call for reassurance.
If you don’t respond immediately, he doesn’t have any patience to let you do it at your pace, and will contact you even more often to track down where you are, and what you are doing.
Are your needy husbands actions over the top?
Overall, his actions leave you emotionally spent. You have little energy to devote to yourself or your interests, because your husband always seems to be draining every second of your free time.
This is how you can best distinguish an attentive husband from a needy husband. Someone who pays attention to your needs helps you feel more relaxed, but someone who constantly calls upon you to take care of their needs makes you stressed and exhausted.
This isn’t the recipe for a healthy relationship, but it doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed, either. You can help your partnership by helping your needy husband move past the behaviors that hurt his connections with you, and other people in his life.
You will need to help him realize that the actions he takes may be full of good intentions (in his mind, it is very likely he only sees it as expressions of love) are actually draining you.
Pick the situations you feel are the most harmful to you, and communicate them very clearly, no matter how obvious they may seem. Boundaries are the foundation of a healthy, loving partnership. Practice self care by asking him to give you space – again be clear, like saying you’d like an hour to read your book uninterrupted.
If he seems unable to improve his patterns, you can look up resources together that can explain his behavior, and ease him into the many available solutions for his problem.
From self help to marital counseling, a happy marriage is often just a little bit of work away.