Contentment is the jewel of human existence. But there are people who are not content with themselves and are in constant search for satisfaction and approval for themselves. When other people text them, call them, ask them out they think they’re worthy. If they forget, they’ll lose their own self-worth.

Nourishment of their life comes from external sources. This discontentment & longing when present in men and woman is what turns them into a “Needy Boyfriend” or “Needy Girlfriend”.

People, who drain you, will always be in constant demand for your attention. Are you draining the other person involved in your relationship? It is easy to figure out from one’s behavior to know whether you’re on the receiving end, or putting the drain on someone else.

Three telling signs of needy,demanding and draining boyfriends/girlfriends:

  1. Space: He/She never gives you space. They always wants you to either text or call regardless of the circumstances that you’re in. They never want you to hang-up that phone!
  2. Emotional Quotient: These kinds of needy people have a high emotional quotient. They will be either too sad or too excited, they may never be balanced in conversation or in life. They always want the other person to be missing them or craving for them. If not, they will become discontent and create a scene out of it.
    The other person will always wonder, what is wrong with them? How much do they need from me? How many times will we have the same conversation over and over again? Is there any limit to it?
  3. Materialistic Demands: They’ll be high on their materialistic demands. Always making plans for their next shopping spree that they have to do with you. Always comparing you with others. As they’re always emotionally low, they will always have affection demands ie a constant need for hugs, kisses etc which can, at times, annoy the other partner

If you’re that person with the above personality traits, then you’re draining the person you’re involved with. You’re totally consuming them, occupying them and evaporating the love which you both once had. Here are a couple of tips to rectify the situation and stop being that clingy person before it’s too late..

Love vs. Possessiveness
True love is pure & undemanding. When you start putting your own set of expectations on love and the way you want to govern it, you shut the other person off from expressing & being themselves. Let them be and respect their individuality. When love becomes possessiveness it pollutes the heart.

Self Esteem & Contentment
You are going to need to look at raising your level of self-esteem and contentment to make life better for you as a person, and the person who you are involved with. Happiness, true happiness comes from within, not from external sources.

A self-content individual is more fun to be with then one who has a void in their life. No one can fill your space, it’s on you to take the move and figure out what is missing in your life.

Ask these questions of yourself:

  • How can I be happy with whatever circumstances I am involved in?
  • How can I enlarge my dimension of thoughts to be not self-centred around my own needs and also include other people’s benefit in my thoughts and deeds?

When you can answer these questions and action those answers you will find yourself living with self-esteem and confidence – these are the core traits of the unneedy.

Published by Jack Raverton

After two marriages and a number of relationships with all manner of woman Jack has seen a lot of different things over the last few years. Jack recognizes that neediness can be a huge turn off in any relationship, so shares how not to be that needy guy, and also how to recognize the signs in others.

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