It happens to all of us.
Relationships go wrong all the time.
The despair and emotions that come over you will seem like a powerful tidal wave of hopelessness.
How to deal with waves of despair
Thoughts are strange things. The good news is they are just a thought and although they may seem to take over our entire being, they will pass.
One way to stop bad thoughts is to concentrate on something else. Gratitude is a great thing to focus on when the darkness comes. Write a list of ten things you are most grateful in your life.
Comparison can also be helpful. Think of how much worse so many people out there in the world have it vs you.
Listen to motivational videos like this one by Jocko Willink:
Dealing with loneliness after a breakup
When you lose someone close to you in your life the loneliness can be overwhelming.
This is normal, it happens not just to you but to a lot of people.
Here are some ideas of things to fill in those lonely times:
- Find a bootcamp class in your area
- Do a dance class (great way to meet girls)
- Try brazillian jiu jitsu (gain confidence)
- Join meetup and find some events around you
- Catch up with old friends you haven’t seen for a long time
- Know that it will pass. Although the sorrow may overwhelm you it does go.
- Talk to a close friend and tell them what you are going through.
- Exercise however you can. Run, walk go to the gym.
- Stay away from alcohol, drugs, and porn.
Take this as an opportunity to grow and learn. You might have messed it up this time, so take it on the chin. Learn from your mistakes and be a better person next time around.
- What went wrong and why?
- How can you do it better next time?
Take ownership of the mistakes you made but don’t dwell on them. What is done is done and you can look forward to making better choices down the track.