Not Needy

Not Needy huh? two easy words to describe yourself, but it doesn’t matter if you are male or female… the chances are if you are reading this you either are needy or know someone that is.

Neediness is like a sickness, or some say like being intoxicated. You may say things you regret the next day, you may treat people in a way that you know isn’t right, you probably are disgusted about the way you are thinking and acting, but don’t worry.. one thing is for sure you are certainly not alone!!!

The thing you are perhaps asking yourself is can you easily fix this, and you are in luck. Yes you can but it’s going to take some work and persistence from you. As well as a never say die attitude and willingness to change not only your behaviour but your life.

If you are a man I would suggest you start by reading this article – How to stop being needy. Its a pretty good quick fix-it for those guys that just need a short, sharp wake up call.

For more information about Needy Woman check out our Needy Girls article.

If you are still struggling to get to terms with things, here is a quick 5 step suggestion box on ways not to feel needy.

Confidence in yourself – Even if its not real or natural at first, at least pretend to be confident!
Silence is key – Don’t text, don’t call and don’t email. If the other guy or girl wants to be with you or talk to you they will get in touch.
Think before you talk – Similar to the last suggestion. Before you blurt out whatever is on your mind think about it and if it sounds anything even related to being needy just trash it.
Weakness is not attractive – Not really a suggestion just something to keep in mind. Challenges, strength and confidence are the things that people find attractive. Not whining, whinging weakness. So remember that as you follow the path.
Rome wasn’t built in a day – Good things take time, start by beginning to change your actions and your mindset. Continue to be strong, confident and good things will start to come your way believe me, but remember it does take time.

Please feel free to share your stories with us here at, we are always ready to listen and to help!

How to Master Neediness – Down with the Needy Man

The road to mastery is a tough one. If you have struggled in the past with neediness and after making changes in your life had some success unfortunately the toughest tests may still remain. It can be an epic battle of power vs need when situations arise that call upon that underlying needy behaviour to arise however, if you can stick to the basic principles learned in How to Deal with Woman, you will be able to get through these tough and trying times.

You may have even been going well for weeks or months and then are faced with a situation where you are tempted to speak up, or point something out that is part of your needy and insecure emotional make up.

Well unless you want to be back to square one DONT DO IT. Instead stick to your guns, portray the new man that you have become – Strong, secure, confident and in control – these are the things that a woman seeks, not a whimpering, pathetic, sobbing wreck of a human.

Once your new habits become the only way you act, you will behold a transformation that you will have to pinch yourself to believe. It all hinges on being able to control your emotions, let logic overpower feelings and stick to the new path that you have chosen to follow. The rewards will be fantastic as you regain control of your relationships and take a positive step forward in your life.

Great video of tips for Needy Guys

This video is great, talks through a number of common needy and insecure guy signs and tips.

Why you shouldnt ask a woman if she had a good night!
Be a bad boy without the lies and cheating!
How to challenge a woman, date a lot of people. ( Don’t keep calling her !!!!! VERY IMPORTANT )
Have a plan and stick to it
Don’t be to available.

It’s not rocket science, just simple tips and tricks that will help you not only appear to be the man you strive to be, but probably change your love life immensely!

Why Woman Don’t Stay With Needy Men

Imagine you are a woman for a moment. I may be wrong but what I have found from experience is that woman like a man who is going to look after them, make them feel secure when they are frightened or worried. Reassure them if they are feeling emotional or upset.

Woman may sometimes act tough and pretend they don’t need this.. but get this guys deep down even if they don’t admit it that’s a big part of what they are looking for. Why do you think wealthy guys have no problems getting the ladies? Money = Security and peace of mind.

I am not saying every woman is like this, I am sure there are exceptions so only generalizing here and happy to hear any woman’s point of view.

OK now with that in mind lets take a look at the needy man.. whining and seeking reassurance. Constantly asking if everything is ok and lacking in confidence in themselves…. it becomes pretty easy to see why that’s not attractive to woman right..

So guys… it’s actually quite simple if you can just get a hold of yourself, act strong, be the man. One simple line.

Make your woman feel safe and secure.

If you don’t do that, then you are probably going to struggle to hold any kind of long term meaningful relationship.

Really interested to hear others point of view on this.. so please leave a comment if you have something to say.

Whipped Men

Being a man has never been this difficult.. for those of us that dodge being needy there is also the urge to not be one of those “Whipped Men”.

If you find yourself running after the woman in your life to answer her every whim, and are the guy that won’t have a night out with his friends for fear of the wrath of “her that must be obeyed” then I am sorry to tell you… but you are Whipped!

Whipped men do everything the woman in their life tells them, keep her happy at all costs even if it makes them unhappy. Above all they have lost the balance of power and have become needy by ways of giving in to the stronger partner.

Every relationship should be on an even standing, if you find yourself explaining yourself and making excuses to your guy friends as to why you can’t hang out with them, you should watch this video!

Needy Men – Questions and Answers with Needy Man Tom

In our search to better understand what makes a Needy Man we managed to find one that was willing to answer a few questions. Tom has had his heart ripped to bits by more than one woman and feels like he is in a place where he can share his experiences in the hope other men can learn from them!

Tom… thanks for agreeing to talk to us, what do you think defines you as a Needy Man?

Well firstly the fact that when I am with a girlfriend I feel totally overwhelmed and sure that not only is she going to wake up and realize that I am not the man for her, but also that I will never be able to get another girlfriend as great as her.. I know a lot of this is in my mind but can’t seem to stop feeling insecure and as much as I know it’s the wrong thing to do seeking constant reassurance from her.

Have you tried to change your behavior and if so how did that alter your relationship?

There have been periods of time where I have managed to cover up my feelings and act like the traditional alpha male.. however everytime I am in a relationship there comes a time where I can no longer act this way and I start to fall back into the behaviors that even I know are self destructive.

Tell us about your worst experience as a Needy Man?

Probably rock bottom for me would have been the times when I have broken down and pleaded with my girlfriend to reassure me that she cared for me and didn’t want to dump me.. in hindsight this is not only very embarrassing but additionally probably the reason why in each case the girl has ended the relationship with me.

Are you doing anything to overcome this behavior?

I am trying to recognize what factors trigger these responses, getting professional help and yes I am confident I can turn my life and Needy behaviors around.

Do you have any advice for woman that are dating a Needy Man?

I certainly do… it seems ok for Woman to be needy at times, maybe they could be more understanding when it comes to Males -although tradition defines that we are all tough and unemotional the reality is very different to this.

Any last words of advice to the thousands of Needy Men out there?

Hide your feelings, even when you feel the time is right to share your insecurities with the lady in your life don’t do it! Get professional help.

Tom – thanks for sharing with us on behalf of!

Needy Girls

Although this website has always been primarily about Needy Men the fact is that there are a lot of Needy Girls out there as well. Often the only reason one sex may even perceive the other as “Needy” is simply because of an imbalance of neediness between the couple. A perfect relationship can sometimes be formed between two needy people as they understand each other and will seek to constantly reassure as that’s what they want from a relationship themselves.

The main traits of Needy Girls include..

Lack of trust
A needy girl is often an untrusting one, sometimes because of past boyfriends or husbands that have been unfaithful, and sometimes for no reason at all. If you are with a Needy Girl, expect to always be explaining yourself.

Insecurity that requires constant reassurance of the relationship
A Needy Girl will often require a lot of reassurance that the relationship is fine, and everything is ok. A more confident member of the female species will often just assume that everything is great until they are told different.


Along with the lack of trust can come jealousy, if you are not spending every spare minute of your time with Miss Needy, she will probably assume you are up to no good. Jealousy can also be directed at time that you spend with friends and family – time that could be spent with her.

Females are to say the least a very complex species, and it’s not as clear as with a Male, however you will know the Needy Girl if you happen to cross paths and form a relationship. Who knows however, if you are a Needy Man it could be a match made in Heaven!

Do you have a story about a Needy Girlfriend or Boyfriend? Please feel free to share by way of a comment on our site and we will publish your story.

How to deal with women – Formula for success

For years men have been asking the same question, how exactly to deal with women so that they are happy, we are happy and life can tick along without the dramas often associated with a relationship. Well finally after years of research, and many broken and painful relationships I have managed to put together a three piece plan for dealing with women.

Find the balance
When in a relationship it is very important to find the balance between showing to much interest ( e.g over the top ) and acting disinterested. If anything I think the latter is probably going to give you more of a chance of attracting a women than the former as one thing is for sure, every women loves a challenge! If you make it to easy for them, they may not form a strong bond of attraction with you.

Remember the role of the traditional male
Although it is a new world with equal rights for men and women, both still have their roles to play in modern society and relationships. Women are looking for the protector and provider even though they probably won’t admit to anyone or even themselves. Although they sometimes act tough on the outside more often than not there is a scared little girl underneath the facade.

You can use this to your advantage by acting the way they would want a man to act, be strong for them, be the decision maker at crucial times and let them know they are safe and secure when with you.

Be inventive and spontaneous – Surprise!
Just to add further confusion into the formula lets make it clear that some women more than others, do get bored very easily when things become too routine. This has been the death blow to many relationships so spot the signs and unless you want your girlfriend/partner finding someone a bit more fun to hook up with you need to mix things up now and then and keep them guessing!

Here at the website, we don’t have all the answers and can only suggest ways that may improve your relationships with the fairer sex. Remember things are not always meant to be.. so sometimes it’s a good idea if things are not working out just to cut the chords and move on!

Insecure Men

Most normal and healthy women are turned off by insecure men, if you are an insecure man these are some of the traits that you probably possess.

  • Jealousy
  • Over the top attention giving
  • Making her your life
  • Boasting and over inflation of self
  • Neediness

Now we know what you are, it should be relatively straightforward to combat each of these…

Stop being jealous – even if you are having these feelings, just ignore them seriously. Be the man, why would she want to be with anyone else, and if there are lots of reasons then you need to work on your own issues before dragging a poor female into your life.

Too much attention – remember women love attention however it is easy to be over the top, notice the signs and back off if you think you could be coming on too strong. This can be tricky but just be careful and try to tone it down if you think you have problems in this area.

Have your own life – Women are attracted to interesting, busy men that involve them in their lives, not those that want the women to be their life. Again just chill out, enjoy time with your friends and don’t stop all the things you enjoy doing just to focus solely on a women, she won’t appreciate it and it’s no good for you either!

Boasting – You shouldn’t need to boast, actions speak louder than words. Prove to her what a man you are humbly and without crowing about it.

Neediness – DON’T BE NEEDY!!! if you think you are needy you need to spend some time reading the rest of the articles on this site, most of which will help you with this.

Ok guys, don’t panic but just chill out, calm down and find some security within that will make you so much more attractive to the fairer sex, and will have all the rewards that come with this.

How to date girls

Well for those needy men out there, often it can be difficult to meet and date girls – it really is tough at times.

One method I have personally found to be very successful is online dating, by hooking up with chicks online you can pick and choose the ones that suit you the best, see what they look like if they provide a decent enough photo, and even talk away to see how compatible you are before meeting up.

Here are some things I have learned about along dating, if you write a decent profile and are not a totally ugly bloke, chances are you will be going on several dates a week and meeting a lot of nice women.

Getting the date..

Write an honest, funny and throught provoking profile
Take your time writing your profile, don’t make silly spelling mistakes, or crazy statements. Be honest about what you write and remember the first time you meet someone they are going to be judging you on just that – did you lie and omit major things, or did you tell the truth?

Spend time chatting first
Don’t move in for the kill too quickly, try and build up an online relationship first, and then once you are comfortable chatting away to eachother and you have both had time to decide whether it’s worth moving to the next step ask her out on a date, have an idea in mind but be open to her suggestions as well. Some woman will start hinting to you very early on if they are keen to meet in person.

Suggestions for the date

Meet outside venue on first dates
For added comfort and less stress on the first date I suggest meeting outside the proposed venue, sometimes even go for a nice walk together before stopping for a drink. It’s much less stressful than not knowing if either party is there or not yet and wandering around a cafe or bar, looking lost and possibly even sitting down beside the wrong woman!!

Don’t try to hard to make a move on a first date
A lot of woman will want to befriend you before they jump into bed with you.. sad but true so be prepared to go on several dates before introducing passion and physical touch etc. There are exceptions and they will make it clear to you in their own way, so just play it cool.

Offer to pay
Up to the individual, but I always offer to pay but do appreciate the woman that insists on paying half. Some do, some don’t but at least you don’t come across as being tight or a scrooge with your money.

Well there you have it, some suggestions to get you out of the house, and dating some hot women.. remember you have nothing to lose and lots to gain, so just go and do it!