When a needy man hits the dating scene and wants to get more than a bunch of first dates, then there are a number of things that he should take note of and particular ways to “play the dating game”.
Go in with the attitude that you are the man… Woman love confident men, but don’t over do it. It’s a fine line between acting confident and being a cocky idiot that will turn chicks right off, but at least act confident, and you will come across as someone that she will want to hang out with – and hopefully more!
Get in shape
A healthy body can not do you any harm, hit the gym hard out and turn up to your dates not only confident but looking fit and toned, another plus when you are trying to appear to be the man that woman want to be with.
When you are talking try to listen listen listen and ask lots of questions, don’t get stuck talking about yourself. Definitely do not mention anything that may make you appear needy… remember you are popular, busy, have lots of friends and although you can make time for that special woman in your life that is not the be all and end all. Remember that you believe in two people in a relationship having their own independence and living their own lives as well as their life together… this is all important stuff so don’t screw it up!
End of the Date
It’s always a hard one knowing what to do at the conclusion of a date, do you go in for the tongue kiss? Try and get them to come back to your house? What’s the plan? Well I believe its ok to go in for a goodbye kiss on the lips, sometimes their reaction to that will be surprising and you may get more than you bargained for but LEAVE IT TO THE CHICK. Otherwise you may be on your last date with the lovely lady, so play it carefully and less is definitely more sometimes.. give them something to look forward to next time.
After that first date it’s ok to text or call them after and say you had a great time and would love to catch up again… but then leave it to them, don’t keep calling. If they are interested believe me they will get back to you. Normally within a few days you will get contact back and if you came across well in date number one, you will soon be heading for date number two.
Well hopefully you are now fully prepared to get out on the dating scene, remember you don’t have to act needy and with a little practice you should be able to come across to woman as the man you are trying to be, so give it your best shot and good luck!
One website that I have found very useful in my investigations about what makes men appear needy (or alternatively attractive) is the website by Hot Alpha Female. I would recommend this site to any guy that might want to know what women feel about how they act and the type of personality traits that chicks find attractive in a guy.
For all you needy men out there you need to listen to the hot alpha chick.. she is very cool and explains things in terms that even us simple men can understand. This video below is a short 6 min vid, that talks about why woman don’t always date players, and how to show them you have what it takes both physically and emotionally. If you accomplish this perhaps you can get past the brick wall that so many of us encounter.. enjoy!
Hopefully by now you have seen the light and become a lot less needy and probably you will find that your relationship is benefiting from it immensely.
There will be times where things become so hard that you will need to find the strength and resolve to fight the needy urges that will come to you and my advice on this one is simple… be strong! By being strong you not only reinforce the fact that you are not needy to the woman in your life you will reinforce it to yourself and believe it or not often it is more of a battle within than anything that you may perceive in your outside world.
Becoming a better man is not easy, no one said it will be however by stepping back and examining your intended behavior you will find that in hindsight the feelings and urges that you suppress were the right thing to do. Its never easy at the time, however no matter how much you want to let loose and tell that woman how much you need her DO NOT DO IT.
Being needy is never ok, so make it a rule to not go there, you and your life in general will benefit as a result of it.
After a few weeks of changing your needy behavior (subtly of course!) you will begin to find that the balance of power shifts from the woman to yourself, examples of your progression are in no particular order….
She will start making an effort to contact and catch up with you, compared to in the past when it was all you and she could choose whether or not or suited her or even if she could be bothered to see you.
Your sex life will improve dramatically as she is a lot more attracted to you.
She will be trying so hard not to but may drop little hints that perhaps she is becoming needy herself, i.e jealousy and trying to figure out why suddenly she likes you so much more yet you don’t seem to be worshipping her so much anymore.
Your whole life will improve and you will think of her less, and enjoy time away from her as much as time with her.
Time together will be extra special for both of you.
As you can see this is all positive stuff and life improving. You will be starting to become so much happier and stop worrying about what she is up to or with who as you actually start to become the man that finally you are acting like. Life is never going to be the same for you if you truly take hold of and embrace this new behavior.
Remember behind the often hardened shells of many woman is the scared little girl that needs a masculine man to protect her and make her feel safe – Hot Alpha Female has more on this straight from the womans viewpoint. Some guy whining away about not seeing her enough or checking up on her every time she doesn’t call him back immediately is not going to fit this profile. Don’t text more than necessary, don’t call back more than once if no return call and above all don’t be needy!!!
So once you decide to change your behavior you may find that you have a lot of ground to recover and its best to take it slowly or you could shoot yourself in the foot. By this I mean if you suddenly start acting the complete opposite of how you were before then the chick in your life is going to wonder what the hell is going on.
If you have been acting clingy and needy you have unfortunately transferred most of the “power” to your partner, they have you at their beck and call and you need to start clawing it back, a little at a time until you are back on an equal footing again, or even better have a little more power yourself.
You need to start by instead of jumping every time they want to do something, become a little busier doing your own things. Try turning them down every now and then and watch them squirm as they try to understand why they suddenly start feeling like they do. Don’t turn them down all the time or you will not have a girlfriend anymore.
Women are complex and strange creatures that often thrive on a challenge, so make yourself a little bit of a challenge to be with, and suddenly you will find things will change in your relationships and be better for all involved.
Its good to keep a journal if you are inclined to have needy thoughts and behaviours. That way you have an outlet for them and instead of unleashing them on your poor unsuspecting partner you can write them down and even take a bit of time to examine the feelings that you are having.
Over time you can look back and often as you begin to come out of your needy phase you will look back and think how strange you may have sounded back in the past.
Remember if you are a little obsessed with a woman and think she is that one in a million – there are so many more one in a millions out there that its impossible to count them all. She may not even be the right one for you so just realize that and move things along.
Update your journal at least once a week and give your relationships, life and general well beings a rating out of ten each time. Watch and work on your self improval over time.
You could be defined as clingy if you want to spend more time with your chick than what she wants to give. Often if you are a clingy type of guy, its best to hook up with a clingy girl, that way you can both satisfy each others desires and its when the two are mismatched that one party or the other is defined as being “To Clingy”.
Unfortunately if you can’t easily snap out of your behavior its easy to feel rejected by your partner, even though from their point of view they may not be rejecting you at all.
If you really like the person that you are involved with you are going to need to modify and adapt your behavior and give them at least the appearance that you are cool with stuff.. otherwise I hate to tell you this, but they are going to get annoyed with you and reject you.
Being needy not only sucks for you as the needy person, it also sucks to be the poor chick that you are needing. Give her a break and remember this..
She was not born into this world to please you
It sucks for BOTH of you so do something about it
Hard words to accept but you need to keep telling yourself them, the more you cope without her the less needy you will become, and the better times will be when you are with her.
The more you back off the more she will come to you, believe me I have experienced this first hand, and it is possible to build a stronger and better relationship out of the needy mess that you are in now, but you need to shift the balance of power, from her to you. If you are at her every beck and call and lose whatever life you have of your own, then you are going to be a sorry wreck of a man.
Even though it may feel like you are getting nowhere, just try to act like you are not needy, as hard as it is, you really need to step up and be the man, and if you can’t then you need to pretend that you are otherwise your relationship will be doomed.
The mind is a powerful thing, and it’s easy to start believing your own doubts and problems if you keep thinking in a negative frame of mind, below are some techniques you can use to ensure that you start thinking more positively.
Be an optimist
Remember to try to think about all the good things that are going to happen, don’t dwell on worst case scenarios because most of the time the things you worry about the most don’t actually eventuate. It can be something that you are not expecting that comes along and gets you.
When you are feeling a bit down its a proven fact that exercise releases chemicals that can actually make you feel happy. So if you are in a negative mindset one good technique is to go for a run, or go and push some weights at the gym. Not only will it make you feel better it is good for you as well.
By surrounding yourself with other people this will help you fight the feelings of loneliness and neediness that can seem overwhelming at times, find some new hobbies, meet some different people and spend time focusing on yourself having a good time.